Goldilocks and the Three Rectification Orders



In a land far, far away there once lived a little girl called Goldilocks.

Now Goldilocks lived in an apartment full of defects and every time it rained, water used to come in from the balcony until one day Goldilocks finally contracted a dust disease from inhaling mould spores.When coming back from the hospital and a double lung transplant, Goldilocks decided to take a short cut through the forest to get home quickly.

Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place, but Goldilocks knew that this was an irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable competitors.  Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Goldilocks felt that in a truly classless society all marginalised peoples would be able to “come out” of the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.

So, while walking through the forest, she stumbled upon a house and walked in to see three bowls of porridge which were labelled ‘ACT rectification order’, ‘Queensland direction to rectify’ and ‘NSW rectification order.’

She sat down and tested the bowl entitled ‘NSW rectification order’ and exclaimed ‘This one is far too weak!’  She then tasted the Queensland direction to rectify and exclaimed ‘The cook didn’t follow the recipe!’  She then came to the last bowl labelled ‘ACT rectification order’, tasted it and said ‘This is just right although I think it would have been slow to make.’

If you were the Victorian minister in charge of implementing a new regime of rectification orders for Victoria (which has not had any rectifications orders except against plumbers for defective plumbing work), what would be the moral of the story?

We are expert cooks on rectification orders.  If you want one whipped up, ring us now. Here’s one we made earlier …


One thought on “Goldilocks and the Three Rectification Orders

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